Dyslexic Diary...or is it Dairy?!

Through and thought are two more words I constantly get wrong, even now looking at them written here I couldn't tell you which one was what. I often think that if I could spell like 'normal' people I would be dangerous. Yes dangerous, I would be able to write documents, emails, reports in a fraction of the time, allowing me more time to really think about what I'm trying to say. I  would write what's in my mind just like that, the thought/ through (you choice which is correct), would be there in my mind and I would just write it. Not think it, start writing, panic that I can't spell the next word, work out how to with the help of spell checker, then forget what I was trying to write. Or the old classic- spell checker can't even work out what your trying to type because you've just put a load of letters together, the first two maybe three letters are correct, you might have the last letter but the ones in between - how knows. Or it gives you a completel...

So I guess I need to explain the title of this blog and writing under the name of the Dyslexic Diarist. I know I couldn't have chosen a worst name/ title in terms of spelling it. I have to let you into a little secret here...I have them written on a post- it note which is stuck to the back page of my note book. Otherwise I have no chance in spelling it! I love post-it notes, they have been like a best friend to me. So I wanted a title for this blog that would reflect what I face everyday, the uncertainty of writing the right word, often getting confused between two words that to me look the same but aren't or have different meanings. Through and thought, mouth and month the list could go on. You often hear about dyslexic people getting b and d mixed up but very little about words that contain similar letters. Diary and dairy being another, I must have wasted many hours over the years double checking I'm spelling the right one when replying to emails, ''Meeting at ...

Every now and then something happens which just stops you in your tracks. Makes you think about what you’re doing in life, are you making the most of it. This year started well, very happy and lots of laughter. As the year has gone on, that's been chipped away, chuck by chuck. What's that saying 'change is as good as a rest', well for me only when you’re in the mind space for it. After a few months of what feels like treading water I now need to reflect. During this time my dyslexia has gone into overdrive- and I'm not just talking about the reading/ writing side- I'm talking about the things people don't straight away link to dyslexia- slow processing of information, anxiety, and lack of confidence. I try not to use it as an excuse publicly, but I internalise it, blame it for the way I feel. Recently there's been so much going on that it’s all built up to almost breaking point. That's the wakeup call- realising that I can't keep going without c...

You may have guessed from the title of this blog I’m dyslexic and can never tell the difference between the words Diary or Dairy – when reading them or writing them. So why have I decided to create this blog I hear you ask? Well like many others out there (it might even be you reading this) I wasn’t diagnosed as dyslexic until the grand old age of 21 and just about to leave university, now in my mind 30’s I’ve decided that there’s nothing I can do about, I’ll never be the best speller or reader or have confidence to express my views in social spaces. I’ve spent many days and night struggling to do what comes normal to others, and feel at times it holds me back. I’ve experienced many different emotions from anger, fear and weakness through to full on anxiety attacks. I always try to hide how I’m feeling, put a mask on so others don’t see this side of me – well now I’ve decided it’s time to face this head on and write about it – YES write! And not in a private journal but a public space...