Anxiety overload

Wow, feeling very overwhelmed, anxious and panicky at the moment. Every now and then something will trigger this, but this is a bad one. Even smells are setting it off, or making it worse. My body is making connections with certain smells, routines, even clothing I'm wearing. I'm really not feeling in my comfort zone or even in control. It's a vicious circle as this effects my dyslexia, makes it harder to concentrate and spell words I know I can spell, which then makes my angry, feel like I'm not able to do what others can and so the negativity/ self doubt kicks in.

I'm even getting tearful, which means I'm showing my anxiety in public and that just makes me feel worst. I can feel my breathing change, getting palpitations and panic attacks. I used to feel like this a lot at school, so now all those memories have come flooding back. I would spend the days looking out the window, dreaming what it would be like to be 'free', in school I felt trapped and just couldn't wait for the end of the day. I would walk home so fast, some days even run as much as I could, just to get home. Home was freedom, a place I could just be me. No writing, no reading, no time pressure just doing the things I wanted to do. And now these feelings are back, I'm panicky, feeling trapped and withdrawing into myself.

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